Truly madly deeply...
Those words once belonged to me.
Now... It's just me replaying it in my head
Wishing it was still mine.

Do You Know...

Do you know...
You're the first person I think of whenever I'm in trouble
The go-to person when I am in doubt
The one that I want to ask for opinion...
just cos it matters.

Do you know...
I pretend not to care...
Pretend to be nonchalant
Have an air of aloofness around me...
So you don't know that I am secretly dying inside without you.

Do you know...
I watch you from the shadows
Looking in while you are unaware
Feel the comfort of knowing you're ok
Don't matter that you don't see me.

Do you know...
How badly I want to be near you
To tell you how much I still love you
To look in your eyes and not have to hide
All that I feel inside.

The hardest thing is watching someone you love, 

love someone else.

At it's worst..

I feel it...
So strong...
So intense...
So...overpowering!

There isn't a switch to turn it off...
Or turn it low...or change the channel
All that goes on in my head is just you.

How is it that I cannot do anything else without you running through my head?
Everything is just mere recollection of the memories we had.
Is it just me or do you have such moment too?
Probably not, you got someone else to think of you.

Like today, was thinking of having lunch with you.
Didn't happen cos I didn't dare to ask.
Then thought of asking if you wanna hang out..either after lunch or after dinner...
Then I got plans that afternoon....so I didn't ask.
Then I thought of dinner or maybe after dinner...
And then I got an invitation to a home dinner.

I know I would throw it all away in a split second
Give it up if you wanted to have something
Wish you knew how much influence you have on me
Wish you could see how I feel about you.

The radio, it encourages me...
Plays songs that reminds me of you...
Tells me things in the words of the song
If only you could hear it too.

Argggghhhhh.....if I told you...
What is the worse that could happen?
Loosing your friendship and never seeing you again?
Could I live with that or without that?

Maybe the quotes I get on a daily basis is right:
The one that I want to be with the most...
Is the one I am best without.

*u!vd 7jv34*

Jealous by Labyrinth

I'm jealous of the rain
That falls upon your skin
It's closer than my hands have been
I'm jealous of the rain
I'm jealous of the wind
That ripple through your clothes
It's closer than your shadow
Oh, I'm jealous of the wind, cause

[Chorus:]
I wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There's nothing to forgive
But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was
Heartbreak and misery
It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way
You're happy without me

I'm jealous of the nights
That I don't spend with you
I'm wondering who you lay next to
Oh, I'm jealous of the nights
I'm jealous of the love
Love that wasn't here
Gone for someone else to share
Oh, I'm jealous of the love, cause

[Chorus:]
I wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There's nothing to forgive
But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was
Heartbreak and misery
It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way
You're happy without me

As I sink in the sand
Watch you slip through my hands
Oh, as I die here another day
Cause all I do is cry behind this smile

[Chorus:]
I wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There's nothing to forgive
But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was
Heartbreak and misery
It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way
You're happy without me

It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way
You're happy without me

In my head

I hate how much I love u
Hate how much i want to be near you
Hate that my every thought is of you

There are days that I feel that I need to move heaven and earth to be near you
There are days that I feel that I can move on and that I have let you go
I know you moved on with someone else
It hurts, it pains but what else can I do

I see the things you're doing
I see how it is...
I wish it was still me you're loving
I wish I didn't have to force myself to let you go

Why do I keep doing this to myself?
Falling so deep, i cant get out
Loving so hard it hurts so bad

Im jealous, envious
Wish i had someone to love and to love me too
Wish i still had you
Wish i didnt have to silently say
That whatever it is, at the end of the day...
I do still love you.

*sorry*

Ouch...
It hurts when I know you hurt
When you didn't get what you wanted
Wished I knew how to make it better

Disappointments for you is a big No no for me
Can't bear to see that curve across your face head downwards instead
Want you to have an easier life after all that you've been through all these while
To have a taste of what it is like to not have to worry

Can I still pick you off your feet?
Carry you on my shoulders?
Push you from behind while you sit on the swing?

I'd do anything in my power for you,
I hope you know that.

Its Just Crazy

It's crazy how
I still think of you so much
Cherish every moment we've had
Reminisce the times we shared

It's crazy how
My heart races a gazillion times faster
The pounding sometimes so hard to bear
Whenever your ringtone rings

It's crazy how
I still think you look so handsome
Your built so perfect
Your hands...>.<

So when I got a buzz out of nowhere,
Imagine the speed my heart was racing in....
All the more so when it was an invite for a cuppa
I almost lost it!

To see you again after so long a time was a relief
To hear your voice again...
To be able to stare into your eyes as you talked...
All I could ask for is that time would just stop

As it is, time flies when you're having fun
Before I knew much of it,
Friends came along
and I had to work the next day.

Heavy hearted and weighted feet
I dragged myself to leave
All now that remains
Is a piece of memory I constantly put on replay.

Highest highs and The lowest low

That ring..

Never fails to send my heart racing

It's been months in its silence 

Yet when it rings, oh....the trouble it brings

It's been awhile with the free flowing conversation 

Almost forgot what it felt like

That you would turn to someone like me

With that curiosity and inquisitiveness that I have always adored

It's like a sugar rush high

You still hold that important place of priorities

Despite all that I thought I had let go

I guess I was so wrong

Being the last thing that I did before my eyes fell into slumber

It felt like it was how it was meant to be

Cherished it as much as I could

For little moment like these

But all came to a crashing low

When I got a reply that affirmed that virtual separation

The hurt, the pain, the everything inside

It churned and grind and just broke everything it could

You think you've been hurt before

And that this probably wasn't any worse

But nothing has ever left you quite this sore

To the very core and even deeper than you ever thought  it could go

This I gotta admit

Nothing has ever affected me this badly before

Nothing quite this close to the pain and the intensity of it all

Nothing.nothing.nothing.