CHASING CARS (IF I LAY HERE)

We'll do it all

Everything

On our own

We don't need

Anything

Or anyone

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know

How to say

How I feel

Those three words

Are said too much

They're not enough

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told

Before we get too old

Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time

Chasing cars

Around our heads

I need your grace

To remind me

To find my own

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told

Before we get too old

Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am

All that I ever was

Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where

Confused about how as well

Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

*yea... I would...*

I don’t know but I think I maybe

Fallin’ for you, dropping so quickly

Maybe I should keep this to myself

Waiting ’til I know you better

I am trying not to tell you

But I want to

I’m scared of what you’ll say

So I’m hiding what I’m feeling

But I’m tired of

Holding this inside my head

I’ve been spending all my time

Just thinking about ya

I don’t know what to do

I think I’m fallin’ for you

I’ve been waiting all my life

And now I found ya

I don’t know what to do

I think I’m fallin’ for you

I’m fallin’ for you

As I’m standing here and you hold my hand

Pull me towards you and we start to dance

All around us, I see nobody

Here in silence, it’s just you and me

I’m trying not to tell you

But I want to

I’m scared of what you’ll say

So I’m hiding what I’m feeling

But I’m tired of

Holding this inside my head

*could it be so?

maybe you already know...

maybe not...*

There's something in the air but she can't seem to put her finger on what. The pain on her foot still prevents her from taking up the speed she's used to...despite all the amount rubbing and grinding from her stubby digits. The night was taken up by a planned encounter with a friend of a friend.. who happens to be a really close friend. Now, how would you feel about calling it a day after a lazy day at work, an evening nap... dinner.. a cake bubbling in the oven... and a cup of hot mochaccino just before turning into bed? lol... I'd call it a day well spent in my dictionary.

Speaking about that lazy job of hers... who wouldn't want to trade places with me for where I am right now? Albeit the long delay at the end of the day in completion of the whole period, I SO wouldn't wanna give up the place I am in right now for ANYTHING!! Talk about being in my comfort zone... I am almost SO well protected I couldn't build a better hedge around myself if i wanted to!

Then there's the other side of the human population. How would one know if it is what it is meant to be or not? Is there a guideline or a manual that I can read to find out? I mean... its great he makes me laugh.. he makes me cringe in happy anger... So far its almost all I could ever ask for... as if my mind was an open book and ever part of it well read and memorized. But then, could it be too good to be true? He's the last thing at night and the first thing in the morning... and yet it has just been.. what... just over a week? How is it possible that one can do two totally different things to an almost similar situation? Would that make one a hypocrite? Or is it a choice of mother nature... written in the winds and the stars... and the sand and the seas?

Life is made up of little choice. What you decide for yourself today would take effect even many many years into the future. It is not something one can ever erase... for it then, is carved into stone as the ticking minute passes.

I want to live my life to its fullest. That much I know.

Had a day full of adrenaline pumps... not only did we have half-strength HOs working today, but on top of getting up early, taking blood, reviewing patients, MO + Specialist rounds... we went for a 2 hour badminton session... AND also a paintball session!!! It was lots of fun!!!

In badminton, we found out there were many kinds of badminton!! You can have amongst others....

• SERIOUS badminton.
• NON-SERIOUS badminton
• CONTINUOUS badminton
• INTERRUPTED badminton

lol... even just playing without pointers was SOO hillarious i think we did more exercise laughing than playing! lol.... Managed a bit of all the afore-mentioned kinds of badminton. hehehehe.... and when that was over, CP + i went for dinner. Not only were we color coded to badminton, we had d exact same food+drink for dinner... lol.

Then came paintball. That was also another adrenaline rush of excitement!!! The last time I played paintball was probably 3 yrs ago... after coming back from Muar... driving in CK's mum's green Myvi... making that pit-stop in Melaka to try the golf-ball chicken rice... and taking a walk in the streets of History. That time, we had it with the youths... and I didn't take out my camera. So there wasnt much pictures to go around. This time around, a little bit older.. and a little bit wiser.

So from the game, I proudly acquired a B-E-A-U-Tiful mark on my knee... and a slight bruise on my Rt shoulder-neck area!! lol... that was AWESOME!!! CP also had some soft tissue swelling over her Lt arm. LOL... and I sustained a headshot by the 2nd game... thanks to the facemask, nothing was injured. lol....

Its been a while since my life was filled with SO much 'healthy' activities.... not to mention the dire need for the exercise!!! lol.....

So after such an exhaustingly fun evening, the next best thing to do is to curl up in bed beneath the covers and snuggle real warm... and fall asleep! hehehehe....

PLUS the fact that our MO was super nice to actually let us haf a day off... unrecorded. lol... shall sleep in a bit longer tonight then.... hehehe...

Walking through the day....

As much as I don't wanna let it...

Each and every time I see it, it makes me skip a beat...

Spookie I know but I guess it's human nature...

Murphy's law they call it...

Maybe you should see me now...

I'm happier than I have EVER been...

Yet I could be MORE happy...

Isn't it strange that nothing is ever enough for a human???

There's always more to have...

Will I one day regret this???

I pray not.

I will not let today affect anything of tomorrow.

Lesson learnt... it doesn't pay.

As for the rest of it, I wish you all the very best.

It can hurt, but I will not show it.

Go on your way...and if our paths do cross again,

I'll still call you My Friend.

The more i look at it, the more real it felt. Yet, somehow, I felt a relief wash over me. As if its finally over. I don't know exactly... but once in a while, the pang is still there. I'm reminded of the things we used to do... the common interests we shared... and the dreams we had.... now its being fulfilled bit by bit... yet it is not equally accomplished.

For the past 6 mths i think i've fared fairly well. Lets keep it that way......

p/s: stay out of my dreams, you lil bugger.....

Ouch ouch ouch.... triple ouch....!!
I saw something I shouldn't have seen... I read something I shouldn't have read... I heard something I shouldn't have heard... I said something I shouldn't have said... yet it all comes back to me... in a way that no one wants to experience...
Like a thorn in a paw... a blister on a patch of skin... it gnaws... it bites... its there but there's nothing to be done about it... it calls out into the night... loud and strong... a vibration of desperation... of assistance... most of all, of pain.
Sutures have been ripped out too early, too soon. The wound hasn't had time to heal just yet... and now its a gaping bloody mess. It so feels like it... so much that can be done... there is nth else to say about it. How much more time do I have to serve under it's reign?? I want out.
I want to be free like a dove... happy as a horn... light as a feather... worrying of nothing but my own. Have the rain fall on my face... as I twirl facing the heavens... beads of refreshing pitter-pattering on my skin...
To have you wrap your arms around me... envisioning the comfort and security...
*ouch*
It still hurts. I'm still hurt.