YOU

YOU
who are in my every thoughts
YOU
who captured my heart and taught it to grow
YOU
who showed me what determination really meant
YOU
who keep pushing me to be a better, bigger Me
YOU
who gave it all you've got until you had nothing left
YOU

I am less than three of you.

Gone

Cold shoulder treatment? 

With determination stronger than steel... 

Hope as high as the Everest... 

Love,  deeper than the core of the earth... 

And a personality type to back it up... 

I'll keep being the 'ant'. 

Sullivan

"Hey Sully,  why did you appear? Why did you have to come when you're not wanted here? "

Feel lost. Nothing belongs. Drifting into an empty vacuum with no one to hold on to. Feels abandoned. Left out. Sapped out of every bit of emotion left.  Just angry and frustrated. Disappointed. Always at crucial moments like these when I need a shoulder that the very shoulder I want is not available.

I want it too. To be loved..  To freely love... To have life going about me...

Deep anguish washes over me over and over again like the waves of the shore. Drowning and rising, I catch a quick breath... Before it pulls me under again.

Painful.
Lost is painful.
I have been here before and I know how painful it is.
I thought I vowed never to feel this pain ever again.
Yet here I am.
In pain. Again.

NOT ANYMORE

Is it OK to tell what I feel?
Or speak my mind like how I think it through?
What do I need to do to do just that?
Without a care in the world of repercussions.

When thoughts run deep and long,
When nights are cold and lone,
Where is that strong arm in which I can lose all fears,
In whose embrace I feel most at home.

It hurts...
It pains...
It sorrows so.
But there isn't two ways about it anymore.

Live and let live...
The privilege of being loved...
And now that it's lost,
God, be my strength through these trying times.