Start out on 3

its finally the BIG 3-0
Am I where I wanna be?
Not really.
Long way to go.
But it's a new start.
A new year.
It's a new day.
A new decade.
Life is what you make it to be.
Write your own story.

you

I L.O.V.E you.
You...
Who crowd my every thought every moment of every waking day
You...
Whose every movement affects every strand of my very being
You...
Who still makes my heart race whenever i deal with anything in regards to you
You...
Who used to be mine and now belong to another
You...
Who, despite knowing that, still I can't shake it off
You...
Whose every moment I still wish I can be a part of
You...
Who I still want to do everything with
You...
Whom I wish i still can hold dear
You...
Who I will continue to care for no matter what...
You.

If only you knew how much this one person still cares for you.

#emomashups

Its the last day before i turn 3
Yet all can think of is THEE
Hello...Are you there?
Would i dare tell you "I love you"
Even though we're through?

How do I do this...
Where do I start?
All I want is still you...
I don't know why I still do

Fukkit mann....
Why it gotta be so cruel?
Why life gotta treat us this way..
Deal us our cards and then fold em
Leave me here to slowly bleed

Nothing seem to heal it
Nothing seems to fill it
Nothing seems to fit right where you use to be

I fear what I'll meet tomorrow
It scares me to venture out without you
Together we could conquer everything that came our way

Oh God, why is he so important to me that I can't let him go?
I question if he would be happy with me but without him I'm not
I wish I could read his mind right now
See through what he is actually thinking
Read right down to the very core
And know what is lurking

Why am I so afraid of getting you something for Christmas?
No one said it was wrong
I wish I knew what to get you for Christmas
I wish I thought of it sooner
But instead of thinking of what to get you,
All I can think of is that I'd rather be where you are

And right this moment...
Why must it be so momental.........
Te deng te deng te deng.... Te deng te deng te deng....
Te deng deng deng te de de de de de de
First birthday wish had to come from you.

Sometimes I wonder...Is it a sign?
Could it be that the stars align still, some day somewhere?
Was it hard for you to send that message?
Did you have to think for long?
Or did it come naturally as tho it was nothing?

You know you made me the happiest person right that very moment?
I couldn't think of wishing to have it any other way.
"Happy birthday
Wishing you a year filled with joy ahead
Take care"
21/12/15 10:35-10:36pm

Prayer in P

 I feel it.. I really do.
All I want for Christmas IS you.
It's hard to go through each day
When all that is on my mind is you...
No matter what it is I'm going thru.

I can't tell no one...no one would understand.
No one would get how deep it runs
No one feels the way I feel it
No one listens to me that intently without judging
No one.

I do hope she does make you happy
I wish I could see it in your eyes.
But it seems the toil of the world's worries
Has taken its toll harder that it shud.

I don't know why you matter so much to me
I don't know why I love you so much
I don't know why I f*^#ing care

But every little thing about you is important
Everything is precious
Everything is as it should be
Imperfectly perfect to me.

I don't know what I should do.
One hand, I should let you go
Another hand, I can't see my life without you in it.

God,
What should I do?
What is it that You have in store for me from this?
How is he coping?
I hope he isn't hurting too.
Watch over him...keep him safe.
Let him know how much we both love him...
Even more so day by day.

Thankful for the little things

it amazes me..
How I still feel palpitations just thinking that I will see you again
It races like a sprinter making a dash of the finishing line

Thankfulness was something new...
Appreciated much and Hartford for it
Just watching you, even if it's from a distance...
Still feel the instinct to protect you

Happy to see you, always
Wish time would just stand still
But i do feel that I still don't know what to say to you
Words just get in the way.

For you to return again despite having to leave
I'm glad for that
That you didn't shy away...
But seemed like it was intentional to be determined to return again

I can't stop looking at your face...
See that smile on your face
Wipe the frown from your head...
How do I tell you that I still do love you?