Now i see..& I hope.

Going on through life without you
Not easy but I try
See where all the brokenness we had
All the holes and where we fell short
Would we have worked if we went on the way we did?
It was a good thing, this...He must have known
Tough love probably..But definitely needed
Silence and guessing... It was hard
Pre-conceived ideas that wouldn't be moved

Now I can see where my shortfalls were
I know what i didnt do right
Thanks for putting up with me despite my inadequacies
Thanks for showing me a better me
Wish I could turn back time with all that I know now
Really wanted to make you the happiest man on earth
But not while i hadn't snapped out of my delusion

Life can be strange like that
Twists and turns that we know not of
I hope you are happier than I could have made you
I hope she loves you more than I did
I hope life treats us both well

I'M TRYING

Its not easy.... That I gotta say.
Like watching you as you walk away.
Like walking away even though I wanna stay
Like smiling when all I feel is bare

It just came out, said too fast
Kinda glad I did... Also wished maybe I didnt.
Seems like we're OK... Although I think we aren't
But we put on a front..A mask..A cover
No one needs to know what's under.

Its not healthy apparently...
But I can't stop.
I'm tired even though I sleep

                                                        "You Could Be Happy"

                                                                      - Snow Patrol -

You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go

And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head

Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur

Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door

You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far

Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true

Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do

More than anything I want to see you, girl
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world

What do I do...

What do I do when I can't tell you how much I'm thinking of you..
What do I do when you keep running through my head continuously and I can't get you out?
What do I do when I feel that intense grip on my heart cos I love you so much?
What do I do when i want to drop you a simple line..But my fingers freeze at the sight of your name?
What do I do when all I wanna do is have you right next to me...
What do I do when I long to let my lips lie gently upon yours and kiss you without holding back?
What do I do when all I want is to grow old with you...Build a family...And have kids of our own...
What do I do when being apart hurts so badly I cant even cry?